Here’s how you can approach this from a technical perspective:
WhatsApp’s “online” status can be triggered by several things beyond active chatting. Background app refresh, automatic media downloads, or even the app syncing messages can show someone as online briefly. However, 2-4 minute sessions suggest active use rather than background processes, which typically last seconds.
The timing pattern you’ve described (1-2 AM, few nights weekly) does indicate intentional app usage. Voice notes to other contacts and selective read receipts show deliberate messaging activity.
For addressing this, focus on your observations without making accusations. Try: “I’ve noticed some late-night WhatsApp activity and it’s making me feel uncertain. Can we talk about our communication patterns?” This opens dialogue about boundaries rather than pointing fingers.
If you need more concrete information, you could suggest using a family tracking app together for transparency, or discuss setting “do not disturb” hours as a couple. The key is approaching this as a team working on communication rather than investigating suspicious behavior.